She returned his call reluctantly. They’d had something once, and now it was gone, and she told him so. Do you believe in charity? he asked.

At the funeral for the False King, townsfolk cry crocodile tears, lament the state of the state and sing, He sure was great at the Internet!

The dude said, You don’t want to know what she did, but I had to know, and he told me, and that’s how I learned I had nothing left to drink.

My life feels like the totality of those moments between waking and the first cup of coffee. I tell her this and she walks away even faster.

He hits her, reluctantly, lightly, it’s more like a tap really, because he’s a gentleman. Then she hits him. And he ends up in the hospital.