The sand got into my shorts. I’m itching in bad places, I said. Can I help? she asked. But I learned everything in hindsight. Like an idiot.

The cab pulled up. We both attempted entry. She said, The nerve. So I let her take the thing, but only because she sounded so old-fashioned.

I smoothed out my hair, fighting a losing battle against the wind. She said, Put on your shirt. Finally, manscaping seemed like a good idea.