We leapt from roof to roof and somewhere, perhaps mid leap, we fell in love, or at least I did, and so I told her, and she fell to her death.

I’m allergic to all of your charms, I told her. She put down her spoon slowly. Sadly. And she undid the buttons on her shirt. And I sneezed.

Then he said, Everyone should come over because I have so much gas! and when no one said anything he apologized, and said, I have a problem.

I searched her out on Google and she seemed sane so I agreed to a blind date and then she wasn’t who I searched. I get that a lot, she said.