We picked dandelions and wished for things that would never come true. This is bringing me down, I said, and she smiled and said, Like magic.

I checked in to the hotel and was shown my room. I said, What’s that? and the bellman said, That’s a bidet. And then a funny thing happened.

I stared at the discarded bills on my desk, feeling a bit poor, and I said, For whom the bill tolls, but no one was around to call me smart.