I put down my drink and stare into her soul. You can buy my love with compliments, I say. I hate you, she says. And my heart swells for her.

She went to the party dressed in wallpaper because that’s how she felt and she made many new friends but none of them were very interesting.

She called him and said, You left your underwear here, and he flashed back to something sexy and then she said, Now I can’t see you anymore.

He ran into the bedroom, blood oozing from his chest. You’ve been using my razor, he yelled at her accusingly. Vanity’s a bitch, she replied.