The car pulls up. The man inside is dressed as if he’s from 50 years ago. The car’s a time machine, he says. So I bought the vacuum cleaner.

Toward the end of the date, I said, You’re like decaffeinated coffee, and then she started talking about her mother, and then I fell asleep.

He sets the cutlery. Everything’s perfect. The doorbell rings. They sit to eat. He compliments her hair. And then she stabs him with a fork.

He would laugh and cry and she called him “comically depressed.” He joked, I’m just thinking of the movies I’ve seen. And he’d cry some more.