Her loose billowing dress confuses him because he can’t see the extent of her own grooming and whether or not he should be turned on by her.

She falls to the couch, tears streaming down her cheeks. How could you say such a thing? she wails. I was making conversation, he shrugs.

She takes a deep breath while he assimilates the unfortunate news. His face is contorted by confusion. I really hate that look, she says.

This mega haired yoga chick kissed my love bug and now I’m always spitting hair out of my mouth and eating salad. I’ve never been unhappier.

We were blinded by smart sounding theories about things we knew nothing about. We bought bricks encased in pretty boxes. Best vacation ever.