He wore headphones day and night to shut out the cacophony of the world and soon he was deaf. And he realized he had succeeded all too well.

I got in the cab and said, What the, and the cabbie said, That was the last fare, and I said, That’s some fart, and the cabbie said, I wish.

The phone calls came all day. She ignored them until she couldn’t. I know it’s not you, she said finally. There was silence on the other end

The kids started fighting and then the inevitable, My dad is bigger than your dad, but the other kid said, You’ve never seen my dad for real