Twister 3539

He fell in love when she said, You’re so not drunk enough. In the morning he woke next to her, confused. Ignorance is bliss, baby, she said.

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Twister 3538

Evening turned to night. And then it was morning. These pills are too much, he told her. Not for me, she said breathlessly. And he felt sad.

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Twister 3537

The commotion took over the neighborhood and he realized he needed to explain himself. “I like my kids,” he said. “I just don’t like yours.”

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Twister 3536

The waves tickled their feet. Tide’s coming in, he said. But they didn’t move. They couldn’t. And soon the water was everywhere around them.

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Twister 3535

The kids said, We’re going to shoot a movie! and then they affected Southern accents and started yelling a lot and that was the whole movie.

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Twister 3534

It took them seven years to realize they hated each other. Figuring this out provided relief. I mean, I don’t even like myself, he admitted.

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Twister 3533

He thought he’d written it down, and then he realized he dreamed it. Give it another layer, she said. Because she was thinking movie rights.

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Twister 3532

The family went out for dinner in Chinatown. When the food arrived the 4-year old said, That’s authentic, bitches! and he lost TV privileges

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Twister 3531

He came home from the store and kissed his girlfriend. And she said, When’s the last time you took a shower? and he said, You don’t love me.

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Twister 3530

And on Sunday she said, We’re going to the Steins’ tonight, and he looked at her and fell to his knees and said, I just want my freedom back

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