Was it the red boots or the red hair? she asks. And he ponders this. Or was it the purple bra? she says, smiling. I’m color blind, he admits

He was so drunk his eyes looked blank like some Japanese video game character and he ran into a wall and broke his nose and learned nothing.

The date was going well until he said “heat seeking moisture missile” and then it deteriorated to the point where he woke up in the hospital

She struggles in, burdened by grocery bags. I mailed the letter, he says from the comfort of the couch. So when do I get my snuggle? he asks