Tagged: Work (581)

In the shower that morning, he poked himself in the eye while shampooing. Instead of getting back in bed, he went to work. And fired people.

The guy with the expensive suit says, I fire all these people and don’t go to jail. The guy with the less expensive suit says, We have guns.

He had his assistant buy the lottery ticket. If I win you get a raise, he told her. If you win I’m going to kill you, the assistant thought.

Jones walks into the office sadly and throws himself down on the chair and says, You win. And his boss puts down the phone and says, No shit

He slumped over and then lay on the ground. A girl came over and kicked him. It wasn’t easy being a minor league mascot in Alabama. In July.

He’d forgotten about the client meeting. He ran out and bought a nice suit. Thank God for coffee, he thought. Then the meeting was canceled.

He had his part in the ecology of the officeplace. He knew they called him Mr. Buzz Kill. But he didn’t think the office was a place for joy

He says, My work is done, but all he’s done is take a call and yell. This is pointed out to him and he says, I’m going to earn my pay today.