Tagged: Work (581)

He walked up to his boss and kissed her hard. Now fire me, he said. Not a chance, she said. He kissed her again. Now you’re fired, she said.

He was dreadfully nervous before the interview and drank too much coffee and then had the longest pee of his life so he missed the interview

He was very uncomfortable. But it wasn’t time to adjust his package. Not with his lousy job on the line. And 300 middle managers in the room

He wants to come across as sympathetic. Nice. To telegraph his feelings. Is this the worst job you’ve ever had? he asks. It is now, she says

Jones walks in to the meeting with purpose, and sits opposite his boss. I don’t like you, the boss says. You are so negative, Jones replies.

The CEO fires 95 people and then farts so powerfully in his office that he’s afraid of the world. Cancel my meetings, he tells his secretary

He worked for a newspaper as a city reporter so he sat in his cubicle and made up stories about shooting the sun. It seemed more productive.

In the Office of Unfinished Thoughts they say things like “Her legs were so long” and “What?” and “Those guys” and everyone is home by 5:08.

The travel writer with no sense of direction ends up in Estonia but files a story about Morocco anyway. It’s all the same, he says cynically