They woke and she sighed and said, I feel dead when you kiss me. But he made lemonade out of that lemon and wrote a book. It sold very well.
Tagged: Work (581)
T 5257
The guy who got hit by a car wears a shirt saying “Weekends Are for Losers.” The paramedic says, Who’s the loser now? We’re all thinking it.
T 5256
Theirs was a food court romance. A flirtation around cheap chow mein. Sip your soda again, he’d tell her. As she caressed his leg with hers.
T 5241
It was that moment. When he realized the job was not for him. Even though he’d just started. You need to lie back down, the client demanded.
T 5323
She brought a bag of warm donuts to work. The cop was unmoved by her plight. I was mauled, she said. But the donuts were warm, the cop said.
T 5321
Your hot dog is wretched, he tells the waiter and the waiter says, Stop your fancy talk, and he says, OK your weiner. The waiter is shocked.
T 5310
He came home from work. His son was on the XBox. His wife was hitting the booze already. My belly hurts, he said. It hurt him every evening.
T 5308
I drank a coffee and went to the meeting and sat through a presentation and had a soda and then I raised my hand and said, I mistimed my pee.
T 5299
His argument floated toward the earth like a sheet of paper. You’re too soft spoken, she said, and so he picked up a hammer and was arrested.
T 5295
He returns to the table. Sorry, he says, fixing his hair. He attacks his Eggs Benedict. A new waiter calls him Dude. The punches begin anew.
