Who does he admit this to? Who would not hear this and question his sanity? But his dog is talking to him. Really. Ever since the wife left.
Tagged: Pets (140)
Twister 474
The dog likes my mailman. It’s liked the mailman since my wife left. And I vacuumed the house today. There’s a cosmic thing happening here.
Twister 1036
All the soccer moms wear their yoga gear while sipping lattes. Jones wonders which one to flirt with. He brought along his dog for a reason.
Twister 1539
He loosed the dogs and they ran hither and yon, but they didn’t bite any of the intruders. He should have fed them a higher brand of kibble.
Twister 2278
He studied the photos and felt the totality of his loss. He wanted to cry but it didn’t feel manly. I’ll never own a cat again, he lamented.
Twister 3117
My problems started when my dog took a dump on the mayor’s lawn. Some dude took a photo, I got famous and now I have a talkshow. About dogs.
Twister 413
I love you so much I want to buy you a panda, he says. The spy reports him to the authorities. And he ends up flinging noodles in Chongqing.
Twister 1043
I saw this guy literally melt in the sun until he was a puddle with eyeballs. And then I saw a dog piddle in the puddle. And I had to laugh.
Twister 1575
Alan walks his dog every morning past the divorcee’s house. He doesn’t know why he does it. She has to be at least 70. But she’s a young 70.
Twister 2365
The beer was warm and Jim called the bartender over and said, Where do you think we are, London? and a shot rang out and someone’s dog died.
