The birds will not leave our tree. I have to wear a raincoat just to pick up the mail. My kids are frightened. Of birds. Nature’s a stinker.
Tagged: Home (473)
Twister 3292
And so after the long and sleepless night he shuffled into the kitchen and stared into the fridge and she said, Everything you do annoys me.
Twister 3465
And as he sat complaining about the latest thing, a basketball came crashing through the kitchen window. His wife sighed. While he rejoiced.
Twister 3572
The kids run around the house. Screaming. She drains pasta in the sink and burns her finger. He opens a beer. When did this happen? he asks.
Twister 508
The bucolic lawn. Gin tonics on the patio. A koi pond. Ethnic bbq. Polo shirts and floral print dresses. The men dreaming of wife swapping.
Twister 674
The children ran underfoot, hither and yon. There were six of them and they were all his. He went to his wife finally and said, I hate kids.
Twister 860
The thieves only took stuff worth more than $1,000. Except for his prized collection of fossilized mammoth penises. They didn’t touch those.
Twister 1168
He pulls the knife out of the meat. The sound coming from the den is killing him. He rushes over, knife in hand. And he stabs the television
Twister 1379
How many times had he said he would leave finally? How many days had he just had it? How many nights had he made love to his wife? Not many.
Twister 1499
She loved singing in the mornings but her singing sounded like the warbling of a lovestuck baboon. So the neighbors hired demolition experts
