Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He got so drunk that he hallucinated furry lolipops and big women running after him. He woke up with shorn hair, his pants around his ankles

The girl from Paris made him laugh but not as much as the mailman who asked him if he had a stamp. That’s when he started to believe in fate

The shoes made his feet look big but that’s what he wanted. He went out, tried his luck. And stumbled about like a drunk in his giant shoes.

And the car came straight at them, pulled in by their gravity, and in the moment before it hit, he thought of all the porn on his computer.

There was a moment when she thought he might find her attractive but the moment passed and because it had passed he smiled at her and farted

He made his way up to the rooftop to check on the noise and saw two teenagers scamper away in a panic. It’s ok! he yelled. I’m not that old!

He might have exited the funeral unnoticed had he not farted so obviously. Outside, he lights up a cigarette. It’s like I’m dead, he thinks.