The relentless barrage of worthlessness. I’m tired of spam! I yell and then from over the cubicle wall, a tuna sandwich, and it tastes good.
Tagged: Food (993)
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I returned home with a pizza. I put it on the counter and turned on the TV. The phone rang. You haven’t even noticed I’ve left you, she said.
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We were watching the cooking shows and she said, I’m hungry, so I went and poured two bowls of cereal and then we watched more cooking shows.
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We watch the sun kiss the horizon. I take another donut. She hums Blue Moon ironically. I can feel her judging me. She’s judging me so hard.
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I went to the deli. I asked for my sandwich without cheese. The counter guy started yelling at me before calming down. Then he called me odd.
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I reached for more meatloaf and felt her disapproval. How fat can I get before you stop wanting me? I asked. Then I realized it was too late.
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The ham smelled bad but I made a sandwich anyway. I’m feeling philosophical, I thought, spreading the mustard. I took a bit. Then I felt ill.
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She cooks her eggs runny and that’s the one thing I really hate, like so much, so I start to shake and then my mom says, So move out already.
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I told her how I liked to use salad dressing. She called me a pervert. A week later she showed up at my work and said, I’m partial to Ranch.
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I took the candy and the baby cried and my wife said, So you would, and I said, Babies are too young for candy, because my wife is a dentist.
