Tagged: Family (813)

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I pulled her onto our bed and she said, The kids, and then she said, No really, and then I said, Don’t give me another reason to resent them.

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The children said, We made a show! and we all sat down and then our boys brought out a pole and their girls starting making us uncomfortable.

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I opened the door and I heard shuffling and my wife yelled, Just practicing some dance moves! but she knew that I knew that she didn’t dance.

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This time I would not dismiss an entire demographic and sully my argument, and I stood and spoke, and my wife said, When did you get so old?

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She starts to clear the table, and she looks at me and says, It’s sexy time, and the kids panic and leave, meaning we get control of the tv.

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I grew fat. Or more fat. One day my wife looked at me as if for the first time. When did this happen? she said, as she served up more pasta.

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I can’t watch my kid’s performance. The man in front of me is using his iPad like a camera. I do what must be done. I kill him. To applause.

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He learned about the death of his father while drunk on cheap tequila. No one ever dies at a convenient time, the bartender told him. Maybe.

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These were the children, carefree, caught up in play, bundles of ecstasy. Ecstatic. Just look at them, I sigh, aloud, to no one, to my soul.

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A minute after my promotion, I received a call from my mother. You don’t call anymore, she said. My balloon popped right there. She heard it.

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