After the date I called my mother and I said, I think I want to father her children, and my mother reached through the phone and slapped me.
Tagged: Family (813)
T 6053
We sat around waiting for the taxi and I said I was bored and my wife said that showed a lack of imagination and I had nothing to say to her.
T 6051
The house smells like roasted meat and he says, What are you cooking? and she says, The last meal you’ll ever eat, and he laughs. Awkwardly.
T 6037
She tends to vegetables, humming something happy. He falls out of the hammock and she says, Are you ok? and she doesn’t wait for the answer.
T 6033
He tells the children their bedtime story, and then his daughter asks, What’s the moral? and he says, Sometimes you grow up old and unhappy.
T 6027
The new neighbors were young and engergetic. They gleamed with ambition. They were everything we were not. We need new shoes, I told my wife.
T 6019
I decided to shut my mouth then, forever, if only to salvage our marriage, and I learned something profound: The less I did, the more I got.
T 5989
In the fruit aisle, my child yelled, Do you eat dingleberries from mom’s butt? and so we had take-out that night and every night after that.
T 5981
He bent over in pain, clutching his stomach. She said, Don’t blame my mother. Then he threw up on her shoes. Then she blamed her mother too.
T 5953
We watched the firemen work in vain and soon our house was no more. I sighed audibly. You’ll do anything to avoid cleaning up, my wife said.
