Twisters

T 6439

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

Adriana wants to meet me. Her emails clutter my inbox, entreaties promising everlasting bliss. Adriana doesn’t know I don’t want to be happy.

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T 6438

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

He calls his mom. He says, We’re engaged. She squeals. He says, It just means we’re talking. And then she remembers her son is in marketing.

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T 6437

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

She bores him and he grows restless and loses his meek social skills. Until he defeats her will and she leaves. Don’t I get a hug? he yells.

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T 6436

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

She notices he always waves with his left hand. But you’re a rightie, she notes. I sweat under my right arm, he says. Then she fell in love.

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T 6435

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

That’s everything, he says, pointing up at the sky. But his son doesn’t buy it. And kicks his father in the shins. And what’s that? he asks.

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T 6434

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The men sit out on the patio debating the merits of wine fridges and the women overhear them and dream of a life that’s a bit more exciting.

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T 6433

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The runner sees the finish line approaching. He’s going to win this race. He thinks of his giant sacrifice. And realizes it wasn’t worth it.

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T 6432

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

My dog’s a babe magnet and it’s working right now except the thing’s sniffing a turd and I’m like: Don’t eat that shit! and then he eats it.

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T 6431

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

We went to the store. I was worried about getting lost. Or worse, of achieving greatness. I just want a hot dog, I wailed. Lost in plumbing.

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T 6430

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

He sighs loudly and complains about his mother’s lasagne and his wife realizes something profound about him and says, You’re mom’s a goomba.

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