I’m wearing a blue shirt, he writes and hits send. She replies with: Who is this? Then: Why should I care? Thus his experiment is a failure.
Twisters
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She loved me. Until I didn’t recommend her on LinkedIn. But I’ve never worked with you, I explained. She told me I didn’t understand “life.”
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He was being weird and she asked, Do you even breathe oxygen? but he was awful at science and so he said, Ok? but in the form of a question.
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She says, Who are you? I get up and find my wallet and read the name on my driver’s license slowly. She laughs and then she says, No really.
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The sun came out and it illuminated everything, even the dirt, and in its warmth lay the grand promise of living. And we went for ice cream.
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I told her I didn’t care anymore. She said, Is it the soup? It wasn’t the soup. It was everything else. It was me. But the soup wasn’t good.
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I ordered a cupcake. My date said, That’s so yesterday. I offered her a bite. Only after I’d realized she wouldn’t be a part of my tomorrow.
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One night we came upon a man with a megaphone. We come from fish, he proclaimed. He smells like fish, my wife joked. That’s me, I whispered.
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The bar is awash in the noise of want. She approaches a cute guy and can’t hear a word he says. She likes that. And then she takes his hand.
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She catches him picking his nose and he decides he’s going to be a man for once and he says, Yes I was picking it, and she leaves screaming.
