Twisters

Twister 1880

The wind blew the front door open and she screamed and ran up the stairs and he looked at the people outside and gave them a big, big smile.

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Twister 1896

I was tired of death and so excluded it from my life. I drank from immortality’s cup. But it was just Mountain Dew. And it wasn’t even diet.

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Twister 1912

They have not met in years. She has an armful of presents and he offers to help but she refuses. I’m still paying for my mistakes, she says.

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Twister 1928

He says, The pain is tremendous. And soon the ambulance arrives and takes him away and the wife says, Wow, I underestimated my own strength.

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Twister 1944

He spots her across the bar and walks up to her and says, I’d amputate my legs for you. And she studies him and says, Then you’d be shorter.

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Twister 1960

They watched the weather report and she got worried because very cold weather meant one thing only. Go fuck yourself, she said preemptively.

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Twister 1976

The fat bearded men watch in horror as the chesty blond women play Santa to teenage boys. Another job lost to porn, one of the old guys says

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Twister 1992

He wants to believe in the possibility of magic. Mostly he wants to get through the evening without people noticing the stain on his crotch.

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Twister 2008

He rolls off her and they listen to each other breathing; the aftermath of intimacy. That confirmed it, she says. I’m going to become a nun.

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Twister 2025

Inside the book, he read about the secrets of love, wealth and happiness and he resolved to master them. He ended up in the hospital instead

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