Some of the people say dumb things all of the time. I take a pull of beer. And what are you? she asks. Though I thought I’d proven my point.
Twisters
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And she starts to cry. Half the commercials on tv are meant to make you fat, I say. I squeeze her belly. Look, I say. She cries even harder.
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So this is where you’re going to live, I say and my father sighs and says, I’m not that old. Then he gets out of the car. Fuck you, he says.
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The man on stage asks, How do you define success? and though no one will say it, we know it means being paid to ask inane questions on stage.
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She cooks her eggs runny and that’s the one thing I really hate, like so much, so I start to shake and then my mom says, So move out already.
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I said the things I was warned not to say. I operated in a way not amenable to civilized behavior. This explains why I told her I loved her.
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I told her how I liked to use salad dressing. She called me a pervert. A week later she showed up at my work and said, I’m partial to Ranch.
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I made the mistake again, because it was an easy mistake to make, and because it bugged her and I loved her that much. She always forgave me.
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She answers the phone. I bought a pig, her ex says. He hangs up. She wonders why he bothered. She looks at her pig. He misses us, she thinks.
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She says, Let me do it, and I say, No way ever, and then she goes all Gertrude Stein on me and guilts me out, and then I let her wax my back.
