Twisters

T 4094

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

He was drunk so “undead” came out “unwed.” His wife called that “Freudian.” He said “We need to end this.” She took that the wrong way, too.

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T 4093

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

He compares her eyes to his dog’s testicles, and then says, I never claimed I was a great poet, and then he compares her hair to steel wool.

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T 4092

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

The bully punches him. A week later he thinks up the appropriate retort. You look like cold lasagna, he says. And gets punched again. Harder.

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T 4091

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

This one guy says, I’m selling if you’re buying. Another guy says, I’m buying if you’re selling. And on and on it goes. Until the pee break.

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T 4090

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

I wanted to be a great dentist once, he sighs. Do you call this foreplay? she asks. He turns to her and touches her. I’m just a guy, he says.

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T 4089

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

Bad things happened. Bad is relative, he’s told. Things won’t ever be the same, he thinks. Then he decides to shop for a new pair of khakis.

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T 4088

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

Unto the breach. He uses this euphemism, and it goes over everyone’s head. Except the woman who crosses her legs. He falls in love with her.

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T 4087

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

She puts her magazine down and says, Let’s raise chickens, and he says, We live in a condo, and that’s how he found himself suddenly single.

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T 4086

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

The dog. He had his alibi. I love you, he told the dog. And then the scream from the kitchen. Honey! she called. You stupid dog! he yelled.

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T 4085

By Arjun Basu | Published: July 9, 2011

Yes it was dark. So what if we made love amidst a field of poison ivy? I had you singing Ode to Joy. Beautifully. And then the itching began.

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