Twisters

He opens the door and there’s his ex. Are you going to hurt me? he asks. He’s joking. But then she slaps him. So that would be yes, he says.

The family was enjoying a quiet dinner. Then the son said, I saw two cats fucking. Then the dinner wasn’t quiet. And wouldn’t be ever again.

The goon asked me what my problem was and I’m a happy guy I have no problems, and I told him and that didn’t satisfy him apparently. At all.

I enjoy good design, he tells her, and she smiles and says, Amazingly I’m still here, and the progression of things weren’t so fluid anymore.

And then I surrendered, and she said, I like my men stronger, and I said, Me too, and she said, I knew it, and my therapist was wrong again.

And then he said it again, and she stormed out of the house, daring him repeat himself, and then he called her up and he said, I don’t care.

Your love is embarrassing, she tells me and I say, You’re sure it’s not my shoes? and she says, And your shoes, and I found that reassuring.