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She listens as I hyperventilate into the phone about last night’s gutsucking game, the arcane knowledge I possess of things that aren’t her.

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The insurance man speaks of liabilities and I say, You’re a liability, and then I light a smoke and play with broken glass and then he cries.

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The sun rose, as usual, illuminating us, the world. I licked dew off her shoulder. I love you more than I should, I said. Then she threw up.

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I hurt my leg as a child. Some kid tripped me. I didn’t grow up athletic. I met that kid, now grown, yesterday and I threw a punch. I missed.

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And then her new boyfriend picked up a guitar and she became more unpopular than before and then he started singing and we wanted to do evil.

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I came home and sat in my chair and asked my kid for a beer. One day we’re going to die, I sighed. He studied me. But not tomorrow, he said.

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I reached for more meatloaf and felt her disapproval. How fat can I get before you stop wanting me? I asked. Then I realized it was too late.

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The ham smelled bad but I made a sandwich anyway. I’m feeling philosophical, I thought, spreading the mustard. I took a bit. Then I felt ill.

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I bring her into my room. She says, Did your mom help you decorate? I turn from her. My mom’s dead, I cry, grabbing my blue and yellow duvet.

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When I was young I was told I was too young to have an opinion. As an adult, I enjoy visiting random “seniors residences” and talking smack.

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