He opens his eyes to see a crowd of people staring down at him. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, he says. You were, laughs an elderly man

He says something about the dignity of immortality and this gets him nothing but a punch in the face by a very attractive philosophy student

There was thunder in the distance, the low rumble of unknowable potential. He sighed. This is the most dramatic break up ever, he told her.

He is exasperated by her insistence on wearing hiking boots to the wedding. She says, This is why you love me. And he realizes he’s changed

And then the day exploded into a kind of reality TV outtake. People behaved badly. Regrets were lost amidst recrimination. Pizzas went cold.