He enters the elevator and the Muzak assaults him like a hot pepper, and then the elevator stops and he says, At least my underwear’s clean.

He entered the room and she pulled up the sheets. You startled me, she said. He sat down on the edge of the bed. What if I shaved? he asked.

The band played their last song and stumbled off the stage and the guitarist said, My Mom sent cookies, and the band lost their street cred.

He’s, like, Love stinks, and she shrugs and says, And if you showered, and laughs and he’s all like, Whatever, and she lights another smoke.

The truck jackknifed and its load of chickens spilled out. Some of them tried to cross the road and they were splattered by oncoming traffic

The place was crowded and dark and he thought he could get away with it but when he got home his wife gave him a look and he knew he hadn’t.