We walked to the party because my car was in the shop and she said, But what will they think, and then I poked her bumhole and she said, Oh.
Tagged: Sex (778)
T 5727
She points to her bloody knee and says, Is this what you call love? and he says, It was an accident, and she says, And now I get what I want.
T 5726
They lay in the grass and watched the meteor shower and he said, Stuff like this makes you feel small, and so she wasn’t interested anymore.
T 5725
He says, What happens when you have a lisp and try and say empathy? And she laughs and pulls on one of his nipples and says, Let’s find out.
T 5722
You have a stain on your shirt, she says. And there it is, near my pants. I’m flattered you looked there, I say. She wets a tissue. Game on.
T 5720
He sauntered into the room ready for love and she farted and said, Come here, and he said, Irony shouldn’t be the basis of our relationship.
T 5719
And then the awkward morning. He makes some toast and they eat in silence. She offers to refill his coffee. I’m not ready for that, he says.
T 5717
She says, First things first. She says, I’m in charge now. She says, Now we’re going to shave your butt. And then he knew he was in too deep.
T 5713
A car ran over his foot. He went to the hospital but nothing was broken. My foot’s swelled up real big, he told his wife. That turned her on.
T 5710
They cuddled, the heat still emanating off them. I’d like you to meet my parents, she told him. And he felt cold then. Nervous. She felt it.
