I sure can eat, I boasted as she took my empty plate, and she said, I bet you can, and she winked and I felt a twinge, but it was heartburn.
Tagged: Guys (1,814)
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She took my hand just as the batter hit a home run and I said, Look at that, but I fumbled for the right words because my team had just won.
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I had been picking my nose. The sexiest woman in the office entered the elevator. I had a booger on my finger; the cologne had been a waste.
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I got out of my car and grabbed a hockey stick from the back seat. I walked to the car in front of me. With menace. Let’s play, I suggested.
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Dreams of a lake, of throwing baseballs in the fading light of evening, of love and loss. He dreams of sweet things. Of things he never had.
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He orders a double cheeseburger and notes the annoyingly judgemental look on the beefy waiter and says, At least I have a speedy metabolism.
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When he picks her up, she feels all the love in the world in his arms. He says, I can’t put you down. And he can’t. His back is killing him.
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I bought her a drink. She stared at me. She said, You might be good looking. I took that. I needed to. Since the night had already felt long.
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He promised her the world. Then he took her out for a burger. Way to manage expectations, she said. It was something he’d learned in school.
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I bought a shirt. She said, Why’d you buy that shirt? I defended the dignity of my purchase. Perhaps a bit too aggressively. Now I’m lonely.
