She takes her socks off and he says, Someone needs a pedi, and she punches him and says, You’re one to talk, and he says, But men are visual.

His clothing barely fit him. He seemed to be having some trouble breathing. I’m addicted to love, he yelled. The pharmacist called security.

I got hungry and opened my fridge and found only beer. I called my girlfriend. I’m hungry, I told her. You repulse me, she said and hung up.