An out of control lawn mower. This explains so much, he says, sulking over a whisky. His blood pools on the floor. And the day’s just begun.

She says, I’ll get you. And then comes the fall. Then the winter. And the spring. And then the summer. And then she knees me in the gonads.

In the morning over coffee she talks about the insignificance of life and all living things and he feels sad because he takes it personally.

And she said something that killed him and he said, Oh yeah? and he threw his cellphone into the woods and he felt a crushing sense of loss.

And then the monsters took him to their underwater lair. And he was terrified and he pissed himself but he was underwater so no one noticed.

He woke with an awful hangover and said, I’m going to be cranky, and she made him a coffee and said, Today? and he said, Forever, and he was.

He gives her some chocolate and pours a glass of port and he says, I love mythology, and she leaves and he creates some mythology of his own.